So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
