if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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