she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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