i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
