Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize