We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
