we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
