4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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