well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize