never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize