He had one of those small greek statue penises
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
