I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
