I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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