the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
smell my finger.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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