Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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