I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize