I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
