Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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