Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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