her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
