1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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