Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
