You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
