Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
