Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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