I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
