do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
