we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
