Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
