if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
