The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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