My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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