If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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