Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
