This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
