He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
