Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
