You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
