the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
