Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
