I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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