this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize