If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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