The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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