There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
