so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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