I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
