There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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