I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
