That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
