so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
