The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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