Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
