you win again, gameday.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
