yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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