He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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