My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize