You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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