its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
