how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
