the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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