Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
