R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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