We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
