I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
